How To Deal With The Desire To Be Popular
Being popular is, whether you want to admit it or not, something we all are tempted to want. This is totally normal and, well, understandable.
We all want to be safe from ridicule and exclusion. None of us want to be left out or overlooked. With that in mind, it’s obvious why popularity is something so many of us strive for. The popular kids seem to have it all together. They seem to be protected from the bullies. They seem to be the people everyone wants to be around. The problem is, this is just an illusion.
It’s funny when you think about it. I hated not being cool lol it bothered me that I wasn't popular.... and it really doesn't matter at all!!! It has nothing to do with life in the grand scheme of things.
-Lyndsay Wisneski, PHS 2002
I look back and think popularity was such a joke for the most part. I stressed and cried about soooo much in high school. Not one thing affects my life now. Not worth all that stress!
-Stephanie Gleissner, PHS 2002
Kids who seem to be “popular” have just as many problems as others do. They struggle with identity, with self-worth, and low confidence. At times they can get so desperate to cling to their status that they will do anything to keep from losing it.
All of this is rooted in fear. Which, when you think about it, makes sense.
Kids who don’t have the “right” shoes do get teased about it. The girl who doesn’t have the latest social media app will be railed about it. Being different shines a giant spotlight onto us and makes us the target of awful, horrible words.
So the fear makes sense. But what do we do about it? The solution is to be able to stand up in the face of that fear and be yourself no matter what others say. But that is a lot easier said than done. But, it CAN be done.
Here’s how.
Begin by speaking TRUTH into those fears. When the fear says, “If I wear these shoes, everyone will laugh at me.” To that you can say, “Well, if they laugh at me, it doesn’t change the fact that I am FREAKING AWESOME.”
Next, get rooted in what God says about you. When fear says, “If I hang out with that kid, everyone will make fun of me like they make fun of him.” You can say, “Yeah, well, God says that He doesn’t look at my outward appearance, but at my heart. And He tells me to love others, ESPECIALLY those who are outcast. So whatever people say about me, God looks at my heart. So I want to honor God, not people.”
The truth here is the world needs you to be yourself because that’s who God designed you to be. The world needs your style, your brain, your “weird” traits. The kids around you need your kindness, your funny lines, your encouragement. Yes, even the “popular” kids need you to be who YOU were made to be. They need your prayers, your friendship, your voice.
Yes. People might make fun of you. That will probably happen. But it doesn’t change anything about who you are and it doesn’t change the fact that God has called you to be yourself. You were created for a purpose. And you can’t do that if you are trying to be someone else.
So be yourself. Don’t worry about popularity. Focus on what God has called you to do: Love others. It won’t always easy, but we promise, it will be WORTH IT.
Here are some great scriptures to memorize and tell yourself often:
1 Samuel 16:7- “But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
Psalm 139:13-14- “For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.”1 John 4:18 “… perfect love drives out fear…”
John 13:34-35 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
