A Letter to my out-going senior
A Letter To Elizabeth, my Outgoing-Senior
By Eric Goodale
Elizabeth,
We are just a couple of months away from the end of an era. It seems like yesterday when I wrote you a letter as a freshman. I blinked, and here we are on the doorstep of high school graduation. To say I am proud of you would be a gross misstep. You have shared special moments with friends. You have cried over boys you wish noticed you the way you notice them. You have been a cheerleader, a drum major for the marching band, performed on stage in front of both judges and crowds, and still had time to start to figure out who you are. All the while not doing anything to screw it all up. I mean there was that one time that sticking up for your little brother with a bully got you suspended for a day, but that is in the past I suppose. With all that said, I have a few more nuggets of wisdom for you as you launch into what is next.
1) Life has bigger consequences now.
You now get to step into something totally new: Freedom. Yes, you have always had freedom, but not like this. It sounds great, right? Well, understand that I am scared to death of this one. I didn’t do freedom so well to start with, but of course I didn’t have Jesus in my life. I have so much hope that you will avoid the pitfalls I more than happily jumped into head-first. I caused pain not just for myself, but others through my selfishness, pride, and other ugly sin. Your foundation is better than mine was. Your understanding of the world is better than mine was. Just know the consequences of the post-high-school world are real and painful. The safety nets you once relied on are not there in the same way and you bear much of this burden yourself. Know this, not to live in fear, but to guide you. You finally get to adult, congratulations…I think.
2) Pleasantville is so small.
Statistically speaking, Pleasantville is not small in your life right now. In fact, 83.3% of your life has been wrapped up in the life of Pleasantville schools and the people there (trust me, I did the math). The majority of your life has been intertwined with the lives of the other students, teachers, and parents in Pleasantville. You are about to venture into a big world with people that have never even met someone from Pleasantville, Iowa, and probably can’t even point to it on a map. You will meet people from all over the state, country, and world very soon. By the time you are my age this 83% will dwindle to a mere 30%. That means at least 70% of my experiences, people I have met, places I have been, stories I tell come from something other than my hometown and my time in school. I never want you to forget your roots. I never want you to lose the perspective of a kid from small-town Iowa. You are better for it. What I do want is for you to grow and flourish in this big new world you are about to experience.
3) Remember what I said about boys last time…some men are still boys.
So remember those boys that you grew up with? Yeah, you are stepping into something new now. You are in a big world with a bunch of boys (men?) that have no preconceived notions of who you are. They have no history with you. You are this new thing to them. With that comes good and bad. You will be getting attention you didn’t get before. You will have boys say pretty things to you to get your attention. Somewhere out there is a man worthy of your love and affection. He will put your needs above his own, your desires above his. He will love God more than you, and love you fiercely. Others, however, are interested in you for, well, their own reasons. You have value and worth beyond the physical desires of a man. You don’t need to sacrifice your morals to get the attention of a man. Any man worthy of you will never put you in a position to compromise your values—remember that.
4) Have fun!
There is a big world out there to enjoy! “Oh the places you will go,” or so says Seuss. Take road trips with friends, try new foods, try new hobbies, take some chances with your music career, and explore the wide world of your own back yard. There is so much to see and do, so don’t limit yourself too much. God created this world and you can gain a closeness with him just by going out and seeing him in new things around you. Get messy (just not too messy), get rowdy (just not too rowdy), play and laugh and experience the fun of life (just the right kind of fun). Just don’t do anything I wouldn’t want you to do, please?
5) Keep pushing forward.
Right now all of your friends have their futures figured out. They know where they are going to college or where they are working after high school. You don’t yet, and that is ok. The future is not set in stone for anyone, but in that you can’t be the stone. You can’t let your feet bog down in the cement of life. It is easy to get complacent and settle in, recycling the same day over and over until you wake up and realize you are 40 years old and are the same person you were when you graduated. That can work, but your mom and I want so much more for you. God wants so much more for you. You don’t have to have everything figured out, put you do need to keep pushing forward. Don’t spin. Don’t get stuck. Be a constant learner. Always strive to be a better version of yourself. This is what God wants for you and this is what you should want for yourself. The big world can be scary and intimidating, but you can do it!
6) Friends grow apart.
This one stays on the list, and you have felt it. Your best friends from a few years ago hardly talk to you now. It is a hard truth you will continue to experience. As you change what life looks like, your friend group is likely to change with it. You will find this when you change jobs, move, or change your priorities in life. It is inevitable, and it can hurt. My best friends in college are not my best friends now. I never talk to my best friends from the job I worked at for 21 years. Few They have had such an impact on my life, and I am so thankful to have had them in my life for those seasons. I have a great group of friends now, but it is likely something in life will change and in 20 years we may be strangers again. Let yourself grieve those losses, but don’t stay stuck there. Instead, cherish the moments you did have while they lasted, and if by chance you can maintain some of those relationships be thankful.
7) Find joy in the season you are in.
Some seasons are really, really hard, while some are beautiful and we wish they would never end. The thing about seasons is they always end to usher in the next. You can’t stop it. You can’t control it. You just have to live in it. Even as I write this letter to you I see the transition from winter to spring outside my window. Winter is trying to hold on while spring pushes forward. Soon spring will have to surrender to summer, and so on. Such is life. You will suffer devastating losses. You will celebrate such joy you won’t find words to describe it. Seasons of pain, happiness, suffering, and peace lie ahead. Weather them well. Find joy in the midst of the hardest things—it is still there if you stay rooted in the Lord, the source of joy and peace. He is my rock when my humanity just can’t do it anymore. Remember, the season will pass.
8) Your mom and I still know more than you.
As you have gotten older, so have we. We have already experienced every stage of life you are continuing to face for the first time. First adult job? Yeah, almost 30 years ago. First place on your own? Yep, seen that, too. Neighbor issues, filing taxes, broken down vehicle, budgeting, or a water leak? Been there, done that! Just know that you can ALWAYS turn to your mother and I for whatever hard thing life has thrown at you this season. I do not promise we will have all the answers, but I promise we will still be there for you in whatever way we can. We know stuff.
9) Surround yourself with healthy people.
Your mother and I have always been able to keep tabs on you. There have always been people watching: Your brother and sister, our family and friends, teachers that we know by name, and people in the community that have loved you well. We have always tried to surround you with a supportive, loving community. You now step into a world free from all of those things, at least in the way they stand today. You are going to have to find those people yourself. You are going to have to make an effort to have people that have your best interest in mind as part of your life. You are going to have to make an effort to have people to hold you accountable in your life. I am so thankful I have that safety net around me and you will be, too.
10) Take God with you wherever you go.
Ask him for guidance in your decisions.
Turn to him in times of pain and suffering.
Give him glory in your successes, and in your failures.
Praise him for his goodness in your life.
Share his love with others that don’t know him.
Surrender yourself to his will.
Let him hold you.
Let him guide you.
